


if we're meant to dream, i'd dream away forever

by knoxoursavior



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Erwin Smith, Canon Compliant, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knoxoursavior/pseuds/knoxoursavior
Summary: There are wrinkles around Erwin's eyes. They're barely there, barely noticeable, barely relevant in the face of all the things wrong in this world, and yet Levi finds himself transfixed by them.





	if we're meant to dream, i'd dream away forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [completist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/completist/gifts).



> love that my first snk fic is softcore porn wow im sorry

Levi first notices them after an expedition with too many deaths and too little new information to write on their report. He's in Erwin's room, hunched over a table, his coat already folded neatly on his lap. It's silent, save for the faint sounds of soldiers drinking themselves to ruin outside, and when Levi looks up from his squad's report, he sees Erwin with his hand clenched around his pen, unmoving. There's an ink blot growing on the page underneath his hand and a look in his eyes that makes Levi grit his teeth in response.

It's easier, usually, to just write their reports and their letters and their condolences, to get all that out of the way so they can move forward. It's easier for them in the morning when they wake up with even bags under their eyes, their hair sticking to their skin, screams echoing in the back of their minds. It's easier, knowing they don't have to bring themselves to remember more than they already do.

And Erwin, usually, is the one who pushes on. He's the one who writes and writes and writes until there's nothing more for the others to do. He's the one who shoulders the burden of everyone else and walks off with his chin up like it's nothing. But not this time, it seems.

Levi won't let them waste their time on nothing, leaving Erwin like this. If Erwin is frozen, then he’ll have to be the one to take action, and so he stands up from his seat, crosses the distance between them until he's by Erwin's side. He pries the pen away from Erwin's hold, replaces it with his own fingers intertwined with Erwin's, and only then does he lean down to press his lips against Erwin's in a soft, soft kiss because anything more might just break them both. 

A kiss, and another, and another, until he finally feels Erwin relaxing into his touch. Only then does he guide Erwin slowly, surely to their bed, and only then does he take off Erwin's clothes one by one, button by button, until all that’s left is the two of them and nothing else.

“I have to finish the report,” Erwin protests, even though he’s already on his back, shivering under Levi’s touch. Levi doesn’t dignify it with a response, only splays his hand across the plane of Erwin’s abdomen and pushes down before he wraps his mouth around Erwin’s cock.

The arch of Erwin’s back is always beautiful, but he has more than enough time to see it later. No one bothers them the night after an expedition; nobody wants to face the people who have ordered them to their deaths time and time again, after all. Levi has all of Erwin tonight. His body, his mind, his heart—Levi will take them all for himself, will hold them all close to his chest until Erwin finally remembers his dream and walks away once again, back broad, dark against the backdrop of the sun.

“Levi,” Erwin says, and at this point Levi can’t tell if it’s a moan or a groan or simply a murmur of his name, as if to confirm that he’s there, that he’s still with Erwin, still following along the path that Erwin has paved with his own hands.

( _ Levi,  _ Erwin would say, almost the same as the way he says,  _ Mike, Hange,  _ but different, always different because it makes Levi’s heart clench even now.)

But Levi already knows that he will always follow Erwin. As long as Erwin has his dream, as long as Erwin wants him, as long as he still has breath in his lungs, Levi will follow. Erwin knows that, because he knows all of his men better than they know themselves, but Levi will keep on answering Erwin's call while he still can.

He licks a stripe down Erwin’s cock, murmurs Erwin’s name against the heat of his skin. The muscles of Erwin’s abdomen ripples under his touch, Erwin's hips buckling as much as they’re allowed to. Erwin doesn’t have to say anything for Levi to know that he needs more—more than just Levi’s mouth and Levi’s hands against his skin. 

Erwin already asks for Levi’s heart, his life, when they go outside of the walls, but he has even more here, now, in this room all by themselves.

Levi sits up, slides his palm down until it’s pressed against Erwin’s thigh, so,  _ so _ close to where Erwin really wants his touch.

“Levi,” Erwin says, and there’s no mistaking the desperation in his voice, the  _ need.  _ Erwin's fists are clenched into the sheets, but Levi would rather they be tangled in his hair.

He doesn't make Erwin wait any longer. Levi reaches for the jar of lubricant on Erwin's bedside table, shushes Erwin's soft whimpers as he slicks up one finger, and then two, and then his cock.

“Erwin.”

That’s all he has to say, and already, Erwin is gasping underneath him, eyes shut tight as his back arches. He’s beautiful,  _ so beautiful, _ but Levi knows there's more to see, more ground to cover before Erwin is really, truly pushed to the edge.

He pushes his fingers into Erwin, watches as Erwin's mouth falls open, his eyes scrunching shut in his pleasure. There it is—the only part of Erwin Smith that hasn't been given away to this damned place with its damned walls and its damned secrets. The only part of Erwin Smith that is Levi's and Levi's alone.

Beautiful. More beautiful than the sight of the blue sky and the blinding sun. More beautiful than the endless plane of green outside the walls. More beautiful than anything else in this world.

Levi wants to see him like this every single day, wants to see him a sweaty mess, his hair fanned out on the pillow beneath his head, his face red from holding his tongue because even though they’re alone, he’s still used to rushing, hiding, quick fucks while their adrenaline’s still running high. Levi's used to that too, but tonight is different. He’ll  _ make _ it different.

“Erwin,” he murmurs, and then he’s pulling himself up. Erwin still hasn’t opened his eyes, but that’s alright. That’s okay, because Levi will make sure that Erwin is only thinking of him.

He cups Erwin’s cheek in his free hand, brushes his thumb along the line of his cheekbone, over some scratches already scabbing over. Another expedition gone with only minimal injuries for them both, another expedition gone with too many lives ended despite that.

Levi presses a kiss against Erwin’s cheek, another against the bags under Erwin’s right eye, and then—

And then, that’s when he notices them.

There are wrinkles around Erwin's eyes. They're barely there, barely noticeable, barely relevant in the face of all the things wrong in this world, and yet Levi finds himself transfixed by them.

They're not as distinctive as the knot between Erwin's eyebrows when he frowns, not as deep as the creases on his forehead as he commands his soldiers, but Levi is already fondest of them most of all. More than Erwin's bright blue eyes and Erwin's wide, wide shoulders. More than Erwin's hands that fit so well against Levi's nape, and Erwin's cheeks that feel so hot under Levi's lips. More than Erwin's mouth and the shape that it makes when he says Levi's name, because they are a testament to Erwin's endurance, his will to move forward, to see his dream come to fruition.

When Levi was living Underground, scraping by through sheer will alone, he thought he'd be lucky enough to live past twenty. But then he did, and then he found Farlan and Isabel and all those kids with their hearts on their sleeves, enough fire blazing in their eyes that they're willing to steal to survive. Levi had no other choice but to keep on living, after that.

Even after he left, even after he lost Farlan and Isabel, after Petra and Eld and Gunther and Oruo, he kept on living, kept on offering up his heart, body, and soul for this cause that he still doesn't quite understand until now. This is his fate: he leads soldiers to their deaths, goes home only to spend hours locked in a room with Erwin as they write letters for all the people inside the walls who just lost somebody. This is his fate because it is the weight that he has put on his own shoulders, because he  _ chose _ this and now he has no right to do anything else but see it to the end. Because he'd rather it be him who has to bear this than any of the others who hold their blades with shaking hands at the sight of a titan in the distance.

Because doing this means standing beside Erwin, and he's never wanted anything more in his life than to live and die by Erwin's side.

Erwin, who carries even heavier a burden than he does, who has the lives of hundreds at his mercy and the blood of thousands on his hands. Erwin, who sees worth in all the death and sacrifice, who makes sure to remind everyone left behind why they do what they do, why it's important to stand up and move on.

Erwin, who has his own moments of weakness, who waits until they're back inside the walls and back in his own room before he finally freezes in the middle of his duties.

So many soldiers—so many people—have given their lives for those wrinkles around Erwin's eyes, and Levi thanks every single one of them for it. Someday—someday, he'll be just one of those soldiers. Someday, he'll die for Erwin and this truth that he's fighting for, but tonight, the only thing Levi can do for Erwin is to hold him until he's  _ Erwin  _ again.

“Erwin,” he says. "My Erwin."

And then he’s pressing his lips against Erwin's, swallowing the sound of Erwin's moans as he pushes in his cock in slow. He drags the motion out until Erwin's breath is weak against his lips, until he sees unshed tears clinging to Erwin's lashes. And finally, when Erwin is wrapped around him, it feels like everything Levi can feel, taste, and hear is  _ Erwin Erwin Erwin.  _ His warmth and his sweat and his moans that go straight into Levi's ear, down to his groin.

Erwin's wrapped his legs around Levi's hips and an arm around Levi's shoulders, keeping him close. Levi won't be the one to part from him, not while Erwin still wants him close, so he slides a hand under Erwin's head and presses kiss after kiss against Erwin's skin as he starts to rock into Erwin, his hips moving against Erwin's in slow, dragging motions.

A kiss against Erwin's eyelid, another against the wrinkles around his eyes, another against the salty sweet line left by a tear that's already made its way into Erwin's hair. Another against Erwin's ear that makes Erwin clench around his cock, and another under his jaw that coaxes a moan from Erwin's lips that has been the loudest from him tonight.

But it's Erwin who finally makes the move to press their lips together, and it's Erwin who pulls away only to moan Levi's name into the air between them as he comes. 

_ Beautiful,  _ Levi thinks.

( _ Alive.)  _

It doesn't take much for Levi to follow. He comes to the feeling of Erwin's nails digging into his shoulders, the sound of Erwin's labored breaths in his ear, the taste of his name still lingering on Erwin's lips.

He allows himself to collapse next to Erwin, after. He'll get up later to clean up, of course he will, but for now, he'll stay where he is.

He stays where he is as Erwin presses close until his nose is brushing against Levi's neck, his breath steady against Levi's skin.

He almost doesn't hear it when Erwin speaks, but—

"Levi. Thank you."

Levi huffs, but he feels Erwin's smile widening against his collarbone anyway. Levi closes his eyes and wraps an arm around Erwin's waist.

"Go to sleep, Erwin."

**Author's Note:**

> im on [twitter](http://twitter.com/singeiji) if yall wanna talk tho im supposed to be on hiatus 😔😔


End file.
